I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize