i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize