if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
