he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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