I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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