then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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