piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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