Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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