Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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