Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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