what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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