She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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