Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.

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(519): View more from Ontario

i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??

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(647): View more from Ontario

We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood

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(404): View more from Georgia

Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.

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(519): View more from Ontario

You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.

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(708): View more from Illinois

did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"

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(757): View more from Virginia

Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'

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(310): View more from California

Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised

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(314): View more from Missouri

If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark

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