they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
