If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
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The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
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Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.