Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.