Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.