what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
