pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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