Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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