my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
