This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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