You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
