So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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