Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
