It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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