Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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