He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Your penis caused this!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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