Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
me + whiskey = a bad person
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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