Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
