Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
did you just send me my own nude
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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