2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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