Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
