Don't you send me to vm
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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