New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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