I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
