One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
