oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
