Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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