Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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