we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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