Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
