why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
