He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
