you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
