apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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