She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
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Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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