I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
