that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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