So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Jerry, you need to find god
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
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I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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