You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
