this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
