Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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