no, he came in my armpit
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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