I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize