I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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