whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
