Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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