Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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