I just made out with a guy for $7.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
