this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
If I die, sorry about rent.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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