do herpes really smell.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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