Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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