i can't believe i had my finger in that
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
