i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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