just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
